Jameela Jamil recently tweeted ‘Kids. Learning about sex from porn is like trying to learn how to drive from Fast and The Furious. Shit. Ain’t. Real.’ Everything about this made me hit my myself in the head and say duh. There has been a lot of drama about porn lately; access to it, politicians wading in with their views and angry protesters campaigning to ban it. We have to turn on our porn preferences now yet Fifty Shades is up there with Harry Potter and Twilight for sell out franchises. Porn is big business whichever side of the camp you fall. I’m not a fan.
Firstly, I hate the unrealistic expectations it puts on people when it comes to sex. Porn sex is sterile, it’s clinical in it’s execution. There is nothing sexy about a choreographed routine between actors who look like they’d rather be doing their tax returns than dry humping on a photocopier. More than that though, porn is so damaging to young people’s views on sex. Imagine that pornography is the only sex you’ve ‘had’ – as a boy you would think that all women are up for it, at any point and that all it takes to get her moaning is a quick tweak of the nipples and some neck nuzzling. Not quite mate. As a girl, you’d think that unless your tits were up around your cheekbones and that you were as hairless as a sphinx cat, that your body can’t be attractive. in addition, if it takes you longer than five seconds to warm up and be ready for some loving, you’d feel like a failure or like something was wrong with you.The girls in porn are writhing about in ecstasy the second a man looks their way so girls today feel hideously broken for needing more. About 70% of women need more than just penetrative sex to orgasm and yet you’d never think it from porn. When some extra fun for femmes is added into the mix, it’s very much from the male gaze. Clits being rubbed raw whilst the woman grimaces into a close up, breasts being squeezed whilst the man slobbers all over a neck. It’s horrible. I have so much anger at the way in which the media constructs gender roles and places unmaintainable standards on both men and women and porn is an exacerbation of this. Nowhere is a woman more objectified, a man more masculine than in a porn film.
Secondly, I hate the way in which the bodies in porn are so homogeneous; it is as if we only value one type. Women must be thin, busty, swishy haired and vacant looking. It is insulting to the millions of women who don’t look like that. Are they not having sex? Do they not deserve to get laid because their thighs touch or their breasts are different sizes? This hegemonic view of femininity is plastered everywhere; women are objectified and sexualised in nearly every aspect of society. You can barely sell a burger in this country without someone half naked, red lipped and moaning. Pornography lends support to the idea that, as women, our bodies are not enough. That we need to be constantly working on them, constantly making ourselves smaller and insignificant. Linked to this is the sex sold to us through porn. What’s wrong with a quickie or some missionary loving? Does every sexual encounter have to include ten positions, a third player and some 90s music?
Lastly, I hate how women in pornography are treated. This argument has many layers in my head. The actual sex is often shown with men in charge, women as submissive. The women are often tied up, and gang banging and hard anal are big searches on porn sites – we could link this desire to lots of sociological concepts such as the crisis of masculinity and men feeling the need to assert their dominance in some way but the end result is the same. Women are shown as objects to be played with, to be hurt and that is fucked up. Also, the fact that women are treated as little more than blow up dolls; there is no emotion, no exploration of feelings. I know that porn is designed for a need, but it is very much a male need, from a male gaze and with a male perspective on it all.
What do you think?