purity1

I had almost decided not to write about the ~ Magaluf scandal; you all know my thoughts on slut shaming and how female sexuality is treated by the media by now (fuck that bullshit and very badly by way of a quick recap) but it is still getting to me. Then Nicole Scherzinger; pussycat doll, hotter than your girlfriend and ex X Factor judge got involved and said the following;

“I think it’s degrading, it’s sad, it’s disgusting and it’s why guys be talking about ‘b*****s and h*s’ and all these things. I cannot stand any of that,” Okay. So far, so terrible. She carried on with these kind words; “Child, you better get on your knees and pray — after you disinfect your mouth. You better find God and ask for forgiveness.”

sh2

Society teaches us to view other women as threats, as competition. Girl on girl hate kills me; I know that not everyone will love each other, not everyone can be best friends but women have it hard enough without being attacked by each other. In a world where we are STILL paid less, where a cabinet reshuffle to include less than a handful of women is considered progress and a triumph for feminism and where what we wear is still more important than what we do, we need to have each other’s backs. Internalised misogyny – where women internalise the sexist, body policing and shaming views of patriarchal society leads to situations where stars like Nicole publicly pull apart a young girl and deem her actions to be unsuitable and ‘disgusting’ because they don’t conform to the ‘good girls do’ checklist we are fed by a society that wants to control female sexuality.

sh3

Female sexuality is so tightly wound up with ideas about femininity and what constitutes a ‘good woman.’ Never mind the fact that from day one, girls are taught that their value lies in their fuckability and appearance. Ignoring the notion that from birth, we channel girls into accepting a system that defines them in terms of their status to others; wives, mothers etc, above their achievements. Forget that saying no to sex or sex games like the Magaluf drinking competition is a sure fire way to being termed ‘frigid’ or ‘the ice queen.’ The comments I read in the aftermath of the Magaluf drama were horrifying – guys and girls falling over themselves to pass judgement, to throw around terms like ‘slut,’ ‘skank,’ ‘desperate’ and ‘disease riddled whore’ were common. You know what was interesting though? No one said anything about the guys. 24 guys were happy to pull out their flaccid, low value dicks and shove them in the mouth of a stranger and yet no one batted an eyelid. That’s cool. That right there sums up my anger; the double standards we use to beat women up with. The girl is a ‘slut’ but the guys get off without so much as a question of their role in it all? Awesome. We expect guys to be sexual, it’s ‘supposed’ to be that way, whereas girls are taught from before they can stand that their virginity is a tangible thing that defines them.

sh5

What this did was bring about so many questions about female sexuality and the way in which it is acknowledged by the media/society; questions about consent – did she know she was sucking dicks for a drink or are the rumours true about her being promised a sun and sand type affair? Does the fact that clubs and bars in Magaluf or any holiday destination of choice for the wannabe stars of Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents peddle drinking competitions, pressurised binge drinking events and sexual games at every opportunity need to be challenged? What about the fact that she was recorded? To say she was co-erced or pressured into it denies her agency and bodily autonomy and suggests she should feel ashamed or guilty for her actions which I don’t think is fair but what IS apparent is that someone filmed her without her consent and posted it online for the world to pore over and pass comment. Why are we still subjecting women and men to different standards of morality and acceptable sexual behaviour?

sh1

 

I hate slut shaming – firstly because no one has the right to say that someone else’s consensual, informed choices are ‘wrong’ and secondly because it is a sexist concept that seems to only apply to women. Men are ‘lads’ ‘legends’ and ‘heroes’ whilst women are ‘sluts,’ ‘whores’ and ‘skanks’ for the EXACT SAME BEHAVIOUR. Literally consider that; apply that logic to a different scenario and see it for how insane it is. It is ludicrous that we have such differing views of acceptable sexual behaviour depending on gender. Challenge it, fight against it. When you read about the ‘Magaluf girl’ get angry about the fact that reporting on it is so biased.

sh4

Reactions:
Like (1)
Love (4)
Category: Discussion, Feminism, My Thoughts
DiggThis