I love the Royal family – it is almost uncool to admit that nowadays but I really do. People bleat on about how expensive they are and how unnecessary without really researching how much money they bring into the country through tourism (over £170m a year without taking into account money made from restaurants, taxis, shops and hotels) and how little they really cost taxpayers (about 70p each).They are an integral part of our history, they operate an important constitutional position and are figureheads for the country. I thought that the wedding was beautiful; everyone came together to celebrate something momentous and from the coverage I caught, the people lining the streets in London were happy, excited and proud which is how I felt!

Here is a round up of my favourite dresses on the day!



I thought the dress was stunning; the right mixture of elegant, timeless and modest; very Grace Kelly esque and suited Kate perfectly. I think she made a lovely choice by asking Sarah Burton at McQueen to design it and I adored the fact that she was wearing the Queen’s Cartier tiara!

I really liked Carole Middleton’s outfit; it was simple and understated but fitted her perfectly and the colour was gorgeous.


I think I am the only person on the planet who didn’t like this dress. It was creased and too plain. I was also really concerned about how thin Pippa looked; everyone was concentrating on Kate’s weight loss in the run up to the wedding but I think sister Pippa jumped on the abstinence wagon as well as she looks tiny here.

I’m not too sure why Joss Stone was there but I loved her coral outfit regardless!

I wasn’t too enamoured with Victoria Beckham’s outfit; it was much too severe and funeral like considering everyone else rocked up in nudes, pinks and pastels. Her shoes were very high for someone who is six months pregnant and the hat was a massive fail. I love her though and normally think she is amazingly decked out so am ignoring this!

Fuck knows what this is. Eugenie’s shoes are lush but that’s about it. Beatrice looks like she is wearing an octopus on her head

Not the most exciting dress in the world but it looked lovely, the colour was nice and I like the shoes.

I don’t like either of these at all

Probably the cutest bridesmaids ever! I love Eliza Lopes little bob and full fringe!

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‘Love your body,’ ‘say goodbye to your body hang ups’ and ’96 ways to love your naked self’ are screaming out from this months Cosmo. Don’t be fooled though – this magazine is only for the masochistic or those who want to laugh at the one dimensional, narrow minded view of beauty the Cosmo crew are promoting.

I don’t think I have enough swear words in my vocabulary to sum up how angry this magazine has made me this month. I had only flicked through it until today where I sat down and wasted an hour of my life reading the laughable excuses for body confidence articles and ‘tips and tricks’ they suggest – mainly; lose weight, be thinner, be better than you are. Fuck right off.

Their body confidence articles include a section on women complaining about their body hang ups – no diversity here loves – we have the thin thin one, the thin one with big boobs and the thin one who is very tall. Great. We then have an article about how ‘ we got our amazing bodies!!’ – cue three more thin women explaining the virtues of fitting in a work out every day ( and kissing your social life goodbye at the same time I imagine)and how proud they are of their magazine media friendly figures. We then go on to some commandments. Yippee! These include ‘ keeping a food diary = good!’ ‘ watching the biggest loser may make you feel slimmer but that doesn’t mean you can devour a whole tub of phish food while you view it’ and ‘ take the stairs,’ ‘cut your food into tiny pieces’ and how fucking marvellous Jaffa Cakes are because they are only 48 calories guys!! Tuck in!

My favourite though, in amongst all those laughably disguised attempts at slamming any body type that isn’t sample size sexy shit is the article about vanity sizing; How stores are making their clothes bigger to fuel and fool our egos into thinking we are smaller than we are. This is super bad because we are at risk of diabetes and dying and that shiz but further more the problem is that we are getting fatter and uglier and need to STOP IMMEDIATELY. Wearing a size 10 doesn’t make you a size 10 apparently and its all about getting friendly with a tape measure because obviously nothing is as important as being thin; fuck qualifications, owning a house, a great circle of friends, a successful career, children, whatevs – being a size 10 is where it’s at and if we are not we are FAILURES.

I shouldn’t slam Cosmo too much. They have been thoughtful and thrown in some lovely sexist crap about men whilst tearing women up and down the country apart with their pseudo ‘ we care’ bollocks attitude – Did you know men are thinking about breasts this month? Wonderful. Also Chris Evans  admits, ‘ I’m a guy – I make mistakes all the time.’ Hahaha, stereotypes are hilarious. Men are buffoons. They only like DDs and burgers. Ha fucking ha. Not enough? Well I have also learned that I should be investing in sexy lingerie to keep my man happy and not wearing a onesie in front of the telly because really girls, keeping your man knee deep in blow jobs and cheap red lace is feminism friendly nowadays right? We also have a wonderful article slamming the ‘macho sexual’ man – we complain about men who aren’t sensitive enough and who forget our birthdays and now we are complaining about men who are too sensitive. Men who tell us they love us and who ‘carry our shopping’ whilst being a ‘gym addict’ are rubbish apparently.

I am so irrationally angry. I hate magazines like this who pretend to be your best friend whilst subtly sagging you off behind your back. Why can’t the ‘ we love our bodies’ section have a size 14 woman extolling the virtues of rocking a fifties style dress or have a larger lady praising her body for once? Why are we stuck with these cardboard cut out figures of femininity who look fuck all like the women I see in the street? I don’t mind reading about a size 8 girl who is proud of her body but I’d like to see it alongside a size 16 girl getting a chance to sing from the same song sheet. It is fucking ridiculous that in an issue dedicated to ‘body loving’ we only see one type of body being wheeled out page after page.

‘love your body’ – fucking let me. As my lovely friend Amy has said – all the articles in here are geared towards making you feel negative about your body. Probably so you keep on buying the magazine in the vain hope that one day it will ‘fix you’ and you will be ‘enough.’ You wont be – they survive by keeping us in a constant cycle of self loathing and despair so we turn to them and their bevvy of false needs and photoshopped advertising to make us feel better. They should be making all women feel good about themselves, whatever their size and shape not slamming anyone who doesn’t fit into their warped, distorted view of photo ready.

 

 

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In the Mail today is a story about a mother who found her six year old’s diary littered with self criticism and self directed anger. I was surprised by how angry this article made me for two completely different reasons.

The first is that this little girl has for whatever reason internalised the self deprecating views most women hold about themselves already; she is angry at her body, her appearance and this is tragic; she is six. Just a baby. How is it possible that we are living in a society where six year old little girls are already subjecting their bodies to a process of loathing and hatred? When i was six I don’t think I was even aware of my ‘body.’ Sure, I knew I had one but I didn’t think about it in any real way – it was just my body. Now we have teeny tiny girls decked out in cropped tops, sparkly padded bras and wearing more make up than adults. It makes me sad for the future my children might have.

The second reason I am so angry though is the complete lack of respect the mother has shown for her daughter – who is obviously going through some issues. To blast her across the pages of a national newspapers with her full name, photos and description of her personal diary ( which she shouldn’t have read if we are being totally honest) is completely beyond my comprehension. I abhore the obsession some celebrities seemingly have of plastering their kids faces and life stories everywhere; those children are innocent and deserve privacy. You may have chosen a life in the public eye but they have not made that choice. Respect that. When this girl grows up she will have sections of her life easily accessible through google; her friends will see it. Any self esteem issues she may have had will be tripled now as strangers up and down the country read about her personal issues with her body and that makes me so mad with the mother; maybe the allure of a paycheck was better than the thought of dealing with her daughter in a more personal manner.

The mother says ‘ I know that reading someone else’s diary is the ultimate act of betrayal. But I couldn’t resist taking a peek. After all, Sophie is only six. There were hardly going to be any earth-shattering confessions lurking between the pages of her pink Barbie diary, were there?’

The mother goes on further to say this ‘ There’s no doubt that little girls are becoming prematurely adult in many ways. …Perhaps Sophie’s diary was yet another indication that little girls are growing up too fast.’

I hate the way children are so sexualised today; everything they are subject to is drenched in it – music videos, magazines, films like Sucker Punch that get a 12 rating ( what the fuck? It screams wet dream material) it all contributes to young children getting such a warped idea about their bodies, sex and the opposite sex. It breaks my heart that this beautiful little girl hates herself. It hurts more to think that she isn’t the only six year old keeping a diary like this.

One of the people commenting on the article had this to say ‘ Since the day my daughter was born, I have been careful to say nothing negative about my body. The other day – aged 7 – she poked my tummy and laughed and said it felt squishy (I am slim but after three kids, it’s squishy!) to which I replied, “That is my favourite part of my body because its where all my delicious food goes and it’s where my three favourite people grew – what an amazingly clever tummy!”. Meanwhile, of course, I’m cursing the squishy tummy, but I’d never let her know it. There is WAY too much pressure on little girls, we need to model positivity and self-confidence for them.’ I wish I could find her and give her a massive hug and say please carry on.

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